Fear
Image by Nick M. W.
Do you revel in the adrenaline rush of a good scare, or does fear paralyze you?
When I was in 3rd grade, my older neighbor convinced me to watch Hellraiser II: Hellbound. He was 14, and I thought he was cool. I didn’t want to let him down, so I parked my ass on the floor of his living room and figured “how scary could this be?” I made it far enough to see this.
I yelled “No thanks!” as I ran from his house back to mine. I tried hard to scrub my memory of the atrocious images I saw with some Super Mario Bros., but the damage had been done. I’d seen too much.
As worried as I was about Pinhead coming to get me, I was terrified that my mom would find out I’d watched that movie—scared that she would recognize the fear in my eyes, and she would know something happened. Her son had changed.
She didn’t notice anything, and I had to live with the paralyzing fear of falling asleep and having Pinhead come after me in my nightmares for weeks.
Despite that terrifying experience, I wasn’t afraid to watch another scary movie. This was and still is, especially true around Halloween. It’s kind of the same feeling I get with Christmas movies. I’m not watching It’s A Wonderful Life on a Thursday night in May, but it’s getting some run in early-December. Similarly, I’m not filling up my free time to watch The Witch in February, but as soon as October rolls around, queue up the Spooky Season flicks.
What is it about being scared that people love? According to Irving Biederman, USC Professor of Neuroscience, specializing in cognitive neuroscience, being scared can be exhilarating and addictive. The combination of fear and the relief that floods you when you realize you’re safe causes a chemical reaction in your brain; a hit of endorphins and dopamine rush through your body.
All October I’ve been conjuring up the Halloween spirit, watching spooky shit for no other reason than to catch the vibe and celebrate the season. We don’t go all out at our house for this holiday, but on the eve of “All Hallows Eve” we start cranking out the pumpkin carving and bringing out the few little decorations we have, like Mr. Jeepers the Scarecrow.
Mr. Jeeps just hanging around.
The first few days he’s up on the door he scares the shit out of me every time I open the door, without fail.
The first big fall holiday and the first in line for the year-end closeout. It’s scary how fast the year went by. The more of them that go, the more I realize my fear of time and not wasting it. Spend it have laughs or thrills with family. My kids love costumes, so lets dress up and do the Monster Mash. Get silly with it because one day it just goes away.
The First Step
Another fear of mine. Like watching a scary movie or hopping on a gravity-defying rollercoaster, dreaming up an idea for a project can be a thrill. I get invigorated by the conceptualization phase, but something happens when I have to take that idea and develop it. Getting over the first hurdle, taking that first step, it can be overwhelming.
“Where do I start?”
“Am I missing something?”
“Do I have what I need?”
“Am I missing something?”
“Where do I start?”
On and on in circles, round and round we go. Spin the wheel of fortune. Wait for it to slow. Step off and get going got damnit!
Public Speaking
I currently work in admissions and recruiting for a college, and right now is a busy time of year for me and my other colleagues. We’re out in the field at a lot of high school events or in a lot of high school classrooms, and we’re talking to students and their parents, answering questions about applying to our school and our programs, etc.
A new colleague shadowed me for a day last month because he wanted to see how I gave my presentation and interacted with the students. We had 4 classes to present to throughout the day, and in the last one, I asked my new colleague if he would like to introduce the college to the class. I must have triggered some memory of a public speaking nightmare because this dude lost it.
He fumbled around with his words before he finally declined the opportunity. Then, he grabbed his bag and LEFT! He left the school site we were at, and he left the job behind. He turned his fear of public speaking into a fearlessness of unemployment.
Crickets
Spiders still seem to be the creepiest insect, but have you ever known someone who is afraid of crickets? I’m not, but our friend is. She left our house the other night after a nice evening of catching up over dinner, and a cricket crawled out from underneath a planter near our front door. Friend went on to scream like Jeffrey Dahmer had crossed her path.
Geez, lady. Chill. A spider can kill you, depending on whether it’s Australian or not, but a cricket might jump on you.
“That’s what I don’t like, the unpredictability of their behavior. They jump but where? On what? On who?
Yeah, sure.
